“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall,” said Jordan. “And I guess it always will, no matter how old we get. It’s a way of clearing out the old and making room for something new.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
For most of this year, I got most of my runs in on my treadmill. It was hot, or time was short, and the treadmill is so convenient. Especially if you have one at home — you just hop on and go.
But, for whatever reason, the waning weeks of summer have brought unseasonably mild weather here in Atlanta, making it possible to get more of my runs in outside. So I’m making it out more often to my favorite places to run, especially along the Chattahoochee River.
It’ll sound silly, but after all that indoor running, I’d almost forgotten what it’s like to run outside. To run the trails and feel my feet push the sand, gravel and rocks aside with each step.
To feel my breath going in and out, rhythmically with my pulse. To speed up and slow down, without even realizing I’m doing it. To just move at my own natural pace.
The next time I stepped on my treadmill, it hit me how different from running outside it really is. There’s no speeding up for a few paces, sprinting up a hill and then immediately slowing down — no, you’re running the pace the machine sets for you.
(You can adjust that pace up or down, of course — but it’s not the same, is it?)
When I was about to graduate from college — this is back in the early nineties — I remember attending a panel discussion on finding a career. Three people were onstage as well as a moderator, who took questions from the audience. It lasted about an hour and a half, I think.
I’ve forgotten almost everything about that event, except for the moment when one of the speakers shared this thought:
“You’re probably going to hear today — even from me — a saying you’ve heard before: ‘life is short.’ Actually, that’s not correct at all,” she said.
“The truth is, life is long,” she added. “You’re going to go through seasons, and no matter what you go into, you’ll go through lots of ups and downs.”
None of us wanted to hear that, as I recall. We wanted the inspirational speech, the perfectly said credo that would put wind in our sails to go out and conquer the world. (Or, at least, find a job!) And I’m sure many things like that were said from the stage that day.
And yet, those three words — “life is long” — are the only thing I remember all these years later.
Since then, I’ve experienced both. I’ve felt the thrill of chasing down stories as a newspaper reporter, and I’ve felt the boredom of office jobs where I watched the clock ever-so-slowly tick toward five o’clock.
I’ve known what it’s like to get divorced and lose a job (in the same couple of weeks, actually) and I’ve known what it’s like to work in a job I love while I’m newly married to someone I’m crazy about (that’s my wife now!) while counting down the days until little T is due to arrive.
I’d love to be able to tell you I’ve found the answer to how to navigate all of this, that I’ve found some key that unlocks the door to peace and tranquility to the end of time. But the honest truth is… I haven’t.
Bad things still knock me for a loop as much as they ever did, and even when good things happen, I of course enjoy them but also know there’s no guarantee they’ll be in my life forever.
There’s only one thing I can think of that’s been constant through all of these things: I’m still here. I’ve survived. Which means I’ve found something resilient in myself — that not only have I survived, I can survive.
Like Walt Whitman wrote to us more than 150 years ago — “Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)” — I think we all wonder from time to time, “what good am I?”
What I think he’s telling us is, that we’re here is all we need. We’re enough, as we are. Each of us, just that we exist is miracle enough. “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.”
I hope you’ve had an amazing week and have had a chance to get some running in — as always, keep in touch and let me know how your running/life is going.
And let’s work on what our verse will be together.
Your friend,
— Terrell
We’re running Atlanta this October!
Join us when we get together in person to run the PNC Atlanta 10-Miler here in my hometown of Atlanta, Ga., on Sunday, October 19 — can’t wait to see you there. If you’re interested, here’s all the details — it’s just a little over four weeks away!
Out on another adventure today this time to the Herbstzeitkuerbisaustellung (fall pumpkin expo) in Ludwigsburg, Germany. (A nod to Mark Twain’s that awful German language).
Reading "Let your Mind Run" It should be required reading for all of us who run!!