T-I have been outlining a post about this (whatever we choose to call it--self-criticism/Self-honestly/Self-awareness) And it was inspired (oddly) by a brilliant passage in The Sympathizer--when I finally write the darn thing, I'll include the passage because it is SO GOOD--while I haven't got my title exactly right--the essence of that …
T-I have been outlining a post about this (whatever we choose to call it--self-criticism/Self-honestly/Self-awareness) And it was inspired (oddly) by a brilliant passage in The Sympathizer--when I finally write the darn thing, I'll include the passage because it is SO GOOD--while I haven't got my title exactly right--the essence of that post is--Do you want to get/be better, or do you just want a gold star on your paper???
In my professional life--I had so many team members who only wanted gold stars--they would never want to hear the honest feedback--would either shut-down or get angry when someone tried. The people who always did the best were the ones who could take it in--look at themselves dispassionately--decide what fit--(not all criticism does) and commit to work on the things they COULD change.
I've gotten so much better taking feedback with this whole, long, boring novel journey you're probably already sick of hearing about. And it's because I no longer see the novel as an extension of me. It's another thing altogether--and if I want "it" (that detached version of myself) to get better--to have a chance of doing good in the world--I have to listen with an open mind and when criticized, I can't sink into despair. I have to let the feedback sit--figure out what fits--fix it (if I can) and move on.
As always...your posts are the best...which reminds me--I need to recommend your Substack....(with the reasons why) on the list of to dos this week...And finally..... 50--what a fabulous turning point--I hiked Machu Picchu in celebration of mine...Wish your wife the happiest of birthdays from your community here...
Thank you, Diana! And I'm so jealous of your trip to Machu Picchu -- I've ALWAYS wanted to go there; I have to get there while my legs and joints are still able to do it! I would love to talk with you more about your novel -- I think any creative project that you have to go deep into, like a novel, is going to involve the kind of experience you're describing. We really underestimate how hard these things can be, I think; it's a little like playing golf -- the mental part is the hardest part, just keeping at it, despite all the doubts and insecurities that creep in. It's really, really hard, and my hat is off to you for completing it. That's -- creatively -- like climbing Everest!
It is, really really hard! (As you say.) And there are times you just want a pacifier, a blankie, and a nap. But man, it’s also sooooo rewarding if/when you decide to stay in the ring. (I wrote about it in my last post-the top 5 reasons writing a novel is the stupidest thing you’ll ever do-and 5 other reasons why it might be the best) as for MP—do it!!! And also, do the Camino. Walking 500 miles in a month will literally melt the years away
PS If you EVER truly want to talk about the novel (and I'm guessing more about the process--my novel is irrelevant to the bigger conversation)--my phone lines are open. 😁
T-I have been outlining a post about this (whatever we choose to call it--self-criticism/Self-honestly/Self-awareness) And it was inspired (oddly) by a brilliant passage in The Sympathizer--when I finally write the darn thing, I'll include the passage because it is SO GOOD--while I haven't got my title exactly right--the essence of that post is--Do you want to get/be better, or do you just want a gold star on your paper???
In my professional life--I had so many team members who only wanted gold stars--they would never want to hear the honest feedback--would either shut-down or get angry when someone tried. The people who always did the best were the ones who could take it in--look at themselves dispassionately--decide what fit--(not all criticism does) and commit to work on the things they COULD change.
I've gotten so much better taking feedback with this whole, long, boring novel journey you're probably already sick of hearing about. And it's because I no longer see the novel as an extension of me. It's another thing altogether--and if I want "it" (that detached version of myself) to get better--to have a chance of doing good in the world--I have to listen with an open mind and when criticized, I can't sink into despair. I have to let the feedback sit--figure out what fits--fix it (if I can) and move on.
As always...your posts are the best...which reminds me--I need to recommend your Substack....(with the reasons why) on the list of to dos this week...And finally..... 50--what a fabulous turning point--I hiked Machu Picchu in celebration of mine...Wish your wife the happiest of birthdays from your community here...
Thank you, Diana! And I'm so jealous of your trip to Machu Picchu -- I've ALWAYS wanted to go there; I have to get there while my legs and joints are still able to do it! I would love to talk with you more about your novel -- I think any creative project that you have to go deep into, like a novel, is going to involve the kind of experience you're describing. We really underestimate how hard these things can be, I think; it's a little like playing golf -- the mental part is the hardest part, just keeping at it, despite all the doubts and insecurities that creep in. It's really, really hard, and my hat is off to you for completing it. That's -- creatively -- like climbing Everest!
It is, really really hard! (As you say.) And there are times you just want a pacifier, a blankie, and a nap. But man, it’s also sooooo rewarding if/when you decide to stay in the ring. (I wrote about it in my last post-the top 5 reasons writing a novel is the stupidest thing you’ll ever do-and 5 other reasons why it might be the best) as for MP—do it!!! And also, do the Camino. Walking 500 miles in a month will literally melt the years away
PS If you EVER truly want to talk about the novel (and I'm guessing more about the process--my novel is irrelevant to the bigger conversation)--my phone lines are open. 😁