I have not read the book, but since I am well into my second half of life I can offer what transpired in my life. I have been truly blessed with a positive outlook on changes in my life - growing up; marriage; careers; retirement; and finally navigating old age (I am 84). My biggest challenge came in early last year when I had severe medical issues and the prognosis would be definitely life changing for an active individual. - I would not be able to lead the active I had for many years. It took well over a year to recover, but I am almost back to where I was - just a bit slower. My doctors were amazed at the recovery - my PCP (she's also a runner) believed it was due to my physical fitness from running and playing hockey. I have always been positive about the changes in life and try to adapt to those changes. I think if you approach any change with a negative attitude it is like a waterfall - the outcome will be negative. So keep active and keep positive.
That's so amazing (and inspiring), Kenneth -- you are so, so right about our mental set point/outlook... I think that's why we always need to be in community with others, whether that's with a friend or two, a running group, a church, a board, etc. They help us see that we really can get back on track, you know? I love what you've shared here -- definitely going to remember it.
I began running with my dad and twin sister back in the 1970s when I was 11 years old. After work, he’d change into his running clothes, lace up his shoes, and we’d set off on a 30 minute or so run before supper. Apart from the usual “how was your day?” exchange, we’d usually ask my dad lots of questions which were sometimes spiritual or philosophical in nature. We’d also share our dreams (literally) and hopes for the future. He’d ask us about what we’d like to do when we grew up, what we’d like to study, and where we’d like to attend college. Then, he’d share some stories of his experiences as a kid growing up on a farm, being the first and only child on his family to get a college education. My dad died from cancer after my freshmen year in college. I’m so grateful that we had those deeper conversations during our daily runs. Now when I got out on a walk, hike, or run, my thoughts often turn to soul-driven musings.
Christine, this is so wonderful -- what a great set of memories to have with your dad (who sounds like an amazing man). That's exactly what I hope to have with my own kids. Love, love, love this.
I’m forever grateful that, one day, we begged our dad to go on a run with him. That daily ritual with him and my sister was a highlight of each and every day. I couldn’t wait to see him. Usually reserved, he felt more relaxed and approachable during our runs so it was easier to talk with him then. I remember how he said it was important to find a sport to enjoy and as we grew older, that we’d come to rely upon it (exercise) as a way to release stress but also have fun.
Thank you for another great book recommendation! I was struggling with "feeling lost" after my retirement in July 2023 so I went back to work part-time in March 2024 and now feel back to normal. I basically haven't ran a mile/km in months but I plan to get my running legs back so that I can run a half in April or May of 2025. Reading the posts of other Half Marathoners is very inspiring!
This is really awesome, Yoko! I can imagine how it must have felt to go from working full-time to not having to work at all -- which I know sounds awesome, but also would lead to a feeling of "okay, now what?" Which half are you thinking of running next spring?
I began this turning many times in my life.Every decade of my life I tried to do something different. Read the book called passage.And this explains how each decade of your life.How you want a That certain goals for that decade In my 20s I just wanted to be free. I had a lot of bad decisions, but you taught me a lot. And lessons, but I still carried those lessons on to this day. In my 30s, I started to calm down because I lost my cousin and then I really looked ayourself. I made the decision to come out to seattle when I was thirty eight. I began a new chapter with the new man in my 40s. And I were really hard. I bought a house while another house. But things didn't really work out, but I kept going. When I got to Seattle, I was very lonely so I started to run.I did my first half marathon And did a Run and a bike in Bend Oregon. This was my first half marathon when I was thirty nine years old I was So much fun. I decided to keep running half marathons. When I was 44 years old I bought.My first house work two jobs and run my first marathon. I set goals for myself.I don't know how I do it.But I stayed In New England for 20 years, just dquit. We have.
That yankee spirit. In my 50s, I started my running career and I did different races because I had some setbacks but running always made me happy. I'm now in my sixties i'm starting to retire. You can't wait for the future to hold. I'm never alone because I have a really strong running community and a very strong book community. When I choose to be alone I am alone and I am very happy with that decision.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sharon -- I find it really inspiring! Especially how you've found what sound like really nourishing, enriching communities in both running and reading as you near retirement. That's what I hope to find as well -- work can consume so much of our attention while we're in it, that retirement (I know from seeing others' experience) can feel like falling off a cliff. Are you still in New England now?
Great post will definitely give the book a look. I dunno im in that middle space too age wise. I can say that from what I see in the ER to some extent age is just a number and that to some extent we make ourselves old before our time because of the stories we tell ourselves about preconceived notions about aging. I’ve seen 80 year olds in better shape than 40 year olds so while a appreciate and agree with the life thus far look back and reevaluating I also say I’m just going to keep going running, and learning and exploring for as long as I can regardless of the number of my years 😊🤪❤️
Love this, Blue -- so you work in an ER? I can only imagine what you've seen over the years. I would love to hear more about the 80 year olds who are in better shape than some 40 year olds! I'd love to hear more too about us making "ourselves old before our time because of the stories we tell ourselves about preconceived notions about aging" -- can you elaborate on that?
Ha sorry just saw this. I’m in a pretty rural ER so there are a lot of farmers and similar creatures that do quite well even in their later years I think part of it is the “ those cows aren’t gonna milk themselves “ mentality. They get up and get out there despite aches and pains or whatever and then there are 40 year olds with medication lists as long as your arm. Who are crippled by their perceptions of what they can and can’t do. Dont get me wrong there are terrible things out there and people have awful things like cancer ALS etc but generally mindset plays a huge role I think that when we start telling ourselves we can’t do one thing or another because we are “old” our mind convinces the body that we are often before our time. I know kind of a ramble but it’s hard to describe without seeing it. Hope you are well and have a happy healthy new year. Ps this is not medical advice 🤣❤️
I know, right? The thing that has surprised me the most about this whole journey is that I keep coming back to the same point -- or, the same kind of ambiguities, after I thought I'd figured certain things out. Does that make any sense? 😊
Terrell, I was introduced to Erik Erikson's theories in a psychology course and was intrigued by his 8 stages of development. I even read a book he wrote analyzing Gandhi. Google Erikson and read some of the book reviews to see what might interest you...
Lots of wisdom there...thanks for sharing Terrell.
I used to read Maslow and Erickson...both provided me with invaluable insights into human growth & development. If I have learned anything over my 77 years, life is complicated and messy and dark and tragic and heartbreakingly beautiful and uplifting. It seems the good and bad are two sides of the same coin.
When I first read Hollis I was a little younger than you are now--and I sort of felt like I had allowed life to happen TO me versus orchestrating it myself. Reading Hollis led me to my own Dante's Inferno-esque exploration. True "Dark Night of the Soul" stuff--but going through that exploration inspired me to make a number of promises to myself to change--and that changed everything. Interesting sidebar (perhaps)--I was at Obama's first inauguration during that time, and I made a deeply personal promise to myself standing (aka freezing!) on the mall with millions--and in the moment I made that promise, somehow the cameras caught my face (tears streaming down)--and I was the closing shot on NBC Nightly News...So I guess the universe was saying, Gonna hold you to that, Diana
Your Dante quote contains the words 'I came to myself', which called to mind for me the Parable of the Prodigal Son. How the Prodigal 'came to himself' and realized he'd been living his life wrong and needed to return to his loving father's home.
I think this idea of 'coming to oneself' does not always have to do with dissolute living! It captures a lot of what I feel as move into (hopefully) the last third of my life. I turned 58 a few weeks ago. Sometimes I cannot even believe I'm this old (and my parents - thankfully both still healthy - are in their mid-80s. they're OLD!).
But as I ponder this - and I definitely do while running - I think about how much more comfortable with myself I am. Even at 45, I struggled to think of myself as a 'grown up'! But now, I fully embrace this. I feel secure with who I am - my plusses and minuses, my quirks. I feel wise. I've got miles on me - in many ways - and I've learned some things.
Just this morning I was thinking how much I love savoring the present moment. I don't feel so compelled to move forward so fast. Except when I'm running! I have to admit I still have a dream to be a fast old lady... :)
I have not read the book, but since I am well into my second half of life I can offer what transpired in my life. I have been truly blessed with a positive outlook on changes in my life - growing up; marriage; careers; retirement; and finally navigating old age (I am 84). My biggest challenge came in early last year when I had severe medical issues and the prognosis would be definitely life changing for an active individual. - I would not be able to lead the active I had for many years. It took well over a year to recover, but I am almost back to where I was - just a bit slower. My doctors were amazed at the recovery - my PCP (she's also a runner) believed it was due to my physical fitness from running and playing hockey. I have always been positive about the changes in life and try to adapt to those changes. I think if you approach any change with a negative attitude it is like a waterfall - the outcome will be negative. So keep active and keep positive.
That's so amazing (and inspiring), Kenneth -- you are so, so right about our mental set point/outlook... I think that's why we always need to be in community with others, whether that's with a friend or two, a running group, a church, a board, etc. They help us see that we really can get back on track, you know? I love what you've shared here -- definitely going to remember it.
I began running with my dad and twin sister back in the 1970s when I was 11 years old. After work, he’d change into his running clothes, lace up his shoes, and we’d set off on a 30 minute or so run before supper. Apart from the usual “how was your day?” exchange, we’d usually ask my dad lots of questions which were sometimes spiritual or philosophical in nature. We’d also share our dreams (literally) and hopes for the future. He’d ask us about what we’d like to do when we grew up, what we’d like to study, and where we’d like to attend college. Then, he’d share some stories of his experiences as a kid growing up on a farm, being the first and only child on his family to get a college education. My dad died from cancer after my freshmen year in college. I’m so grateful that we had those deeper conversations during our daily runs. Now when I got out on a walk, hike, or run, my thoughts often turn to soul-driven musings.
This is truly touching! What a wonderful dad you had and it is obvious that he lives on in your heart!
Christine, this is so wonderful -- what a great set of memories to have with your dad (who sounds like an amazing man). That's exactly what I hope to have with my own kids. Love, love, love this.
I’m forever grateful that, one day, we begged our dad to go on a run with him. That daily ritual with him and my sister was a highlight of each and every day. I couldn’t wait to see him. Usually reserved, he felt more relaxed and approachable during our runs so it was easier to talk with him then. I remember how he said it was important to find a sport to enjoy and as we grew older, that we’d come to rely upon it (exercise) as a way to release stress but also have fun.
Thank you for another great book recommendation! I was struggling with "feeling lost" after my retirement in July 2023 so I went back to work part-time in March 2024 and now feel back to normal. I basically haven't ran a mile/km in months but I plan to get my running legs back so that I can run a half in April or May of 2025. Reading the posts of other Half Marathoners is very inspiring!
This is really awesome, Yoko! I can imagine how it must have felt to go from working full-time to not having to work at all -- which I know sounds awesome, but also would lead to a feeling of "okay, now what?" Which half are you thinking of running next spring?
I began this turning many times in my life.Every decade of my life I tried to do something different. Read the book called passage.And this explains how each decade of your life.How you want a That certain goals for that decade In my 20s I just wanted to be free. I had a lot of bad decisions, but you taught me a lot. And lessons, but I still carried those lessons on to this day. In my 30s, I started to calm down because I lost my cousin and then I really looked ayourself. I made the decision to come out to seattle when I was thirty eight. I began a new chapter with the new man in my 40s. And I were really hard. I bought a house while another house. But things didn't really work out, but I kept going. When I got to Seattle, I was very lonely so I started to run.I did my first half marathon And did a Run and a bike in Bend Oregon. This was my first half marathon when I was thirty nine years old I was So much fun. I decided to keep running half marathons. When I was 44 years old I bought.My first house work two jobs and run my first marathon. I set goals for myself.I don't know how I do it.But I stayed In New England for 20 years, just dquit. We have.
That yankee spirit. In my 50s, I started my running career and I did different races because I had some setbacks but running always made me happy. I'm now in my sixties i'm starting to retire. You can't wait for the future to hold. I'm never alone because I have a really strong running community and a very strong book community. When I choose to be alone I am alone and I am very happy with that decision.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sharon -- I find it really inspiring! Especially how you've found what sound like really nourishing, enriching communities in both running and reading as you near retirement. That's what I hope to find as well -- work can consume so much of our attention while we're in it, that retirement (I know from seeing others' experience) can feel like falling off a cliff. Are you still in New England now?
Great post will definitely give the book a look. I dunno im in that middle space too age wise. I can say that from what I see in the ER to some extent age is just a number and that to some extent we make ourselves old before our time because of the stories we tell ourselves about preconceived notions about aging. I’ve seen 80 year olds in better shape than 40 year olds so while a appreciate and agree with the life thus far look back and reevaluating I also say I’m just going to keep going running, and learning and exploring for as long as I can regardless of the number of my years 😊🤪❤️
Love this, Blue -- so you work in an ER? I can only imagine what you've seen over the years. I would love to hear more about the 80 year olds who are in better shape than some 40 year olds! I'd love to hear more too about us making "ourselves old before our time because of the stories we tell ourselves about preconceived notions about aging" -- can you elaborate on that?
Ha sorry just saw this. I’m in a pretty rural ER so there are a lot of farmers and similar creatures that do quite well even in their later years I think part of it is the “ those cows aren’t gonna milk themselves “ mentality. They get up and get out there despite aches and pains or whatever and then there are 40 year olds with medication lists as long as your arm. Who are crippled by their perceptions of what they can and can’t do. Dont get me wrong there are terrible things out there and people have awful things like cancer ALS etc but generally mindset plays a huge role I think that when we start telling ourselves we can’t do one thing or another because we are “old” our mind convinces the body that we are often before our time. I know kind of a ramble but it’s hard to describe without seeing it. Hope you are well and have a happy healthy new year. Ps this is not medical advice 🤣❤️
Thank you for this. :) Yes, yes, that subtitle gets your attention. When we're honest, we all have some growing up to do.
How true that is.... of me, too!
I’m right with you Terrell! I’m working through the same thoughts and questions. It’s been quite a journey! 😊
I know, right? The thing that has surprised me the most about this whole journey is that I keep coming back to the same point -- or, the same kind of ambiguities, after I thought I'd figured certain things out. Does that make any sense? 😊
Terrell, I was introduced to Erik Erikson's theories in a psychology course and was intrigued by his 8 stages of development. I even read a book he wrote analyzing Gandhi. Google Erikson and read some of the book reviews to see what might interest you...
Developing a spiritual foundation has helped me navigate every coin toss...
Lots of wisdom there...thanks for sharing Terrell.
I used to read Maslow and Erickson...both provided me with invaluable insights into human growth & development. If I have learned anything over my 77 years, life is complicated and messy and dark and tragic and heartbreakingly beautiful and uplifting. It seems the good and bad are two sides of the same coin.
Really interesting, Clark -- I'm familiar with Maslow but not Erickson -- do you have any suggested books/essays?
More of your great philosophical writing about life and sometimes running a half marathon. Thanks.
Thank YOU, Jerry!
James Hollis!!!!! I haven't even read the post yet--but saw the picture. I'll read it with my morning coffee. Hollis changed my life. Like, for reals.
Really? So it sounds like there’s a story that’s fascinating there — how so?
When I first read Hollis I was a little younger than you are now--and I sort of felt like I had allowed life to happen TO me versus orchestrating it myself. Reading Hollis led me to my own Dante's Inferno-esque exploration. True "Dark Night of the Soul" stuff--but going through that exploration inspired me to make a number of promises to myself to change--and that changed everything. Interesting sidebar (perhaps)--I was at Obama's first inauguration during that time, and I made a deeply personal promise to myself standing (aka freezing!) on the mall with millions--and in the moment I made that promise, somehow the cameras caught my face (tears streaming down)--and I was the closing shot on NBC Nightly News...So I guess the universe was saying, Gonna hold you to that, Diana
Love this post, thank you.
Your Dante quote contains the words 'I came to myself', which called to mind for me the Parable of the Prodigal Son. How the Prodigal 'came to himself' and realized he'd been living his life wrong and needed to return to his loving father's home.
I think this idea of 'coming to oneself' does not always have to do with dissolute living! It captures a lot of what I feel as move into (hopefully) the last third of my life. I turned 58 a few weeks ago. Sometimes I cannot even believe I'm this old (and my parents - thankfully both still healthy - are in their mid-80s. they're OLD!).
But as I ponder this - and I definitely do while running - I think about how much more comfortable with myself I am. Even at 45, I struggled to think of myself as a 'grown up'! But now, I fully embrace this. I feel secure with who I am - my plusses and minuses, my quirks. I feel wise. I've got miles on me - in many ways - and I've learned some things.
Just this morning I was thinking how much I love savoring the present moment. I don't feel so compelled to move forward so fast. Except when I'm running! I have to admit I still have a dream to be a fast old lady... :)