I am 74 years old and still have big dreams I want to realize. The
dreams seem almost impossible but time will tell. So time to me is precious and I look upon it as my ally as I continue growing older and dreaming bigger and doing more! Never stop dreaming. It is the “keystone” that holds it all together!
Yes. 1)Training for a BQ in October 2) Creating a National race series called “ The Great Human Race” with the purpose of “donating food for the long run”. All revenues go to community food banks where the races are held. I believe food insecurity in America should be unacceptable. If the gov’t can’t solve it, then perhaps runners can help. Runners need to find that sweet spot...where “me” intersects with “we”. Running with a purpose helps the runner and the community. 3) I dream of dancing at my grandchildren’s weddings. That could be at least 20 years away!
Wow, wow, wow! My prayer is that I live as long as I'm healthy and mentally cognizant. I know as I grow older that I may become physically limited, but I don't want to be so frail that I become an unnecessary burden on my children and I don't remember their faces.
I am watching my dad slowly fade away in his dementia, his eyesight failing because his brain can’t keep up with the data stream coming in, his balance off because his brain forgets to change blood flow as he rises from a chair, his memory like an LSD trip of fantasy and reality. The things he once loved to do, he can’t anymore—even if he could remember how. He is an 80-year-old toddler. His parents died younger than I am now, after living lives full of challenging health complications (polio, alcoholism, rheumatic fever, smoking...)
Meanwhile, my mom run-walked 8.0 miles to mark her 80th birthday. She still creates, still reads, still drives :O and still cares for an 80-year-old toddler. She could live to a million (her mom went at 95 and her dad in his 80s but blind, deaf, and beyond depressed).
I’d like to outlive both parents, because I think that’s how the universe should work. But I don’t need to live forever. I have no children, no spouse to insist that I stay past my expiration date. I’ve had a good and fulfilling life, good friends and great experiences. When I can no longer be me, I will be fine with going quietly into that dark night.
Steph, I am very touched by what you wrote above. You've given me so much to think about. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman, by the way!!! I feel like I hear about these situations pretty often -- the wife doing well in older age, but the husband not doing nearly as well. Lots to consider here.
My grandmother would often say she was ready to check out since she was 75 but lived to 101. She was mentally sharp but her health was poor due to emphysema from prior smoking. Her sister lived to 104 in perfect physical health but poor cognition. She retained her pleasantness and sense of humor to the end, but not her memory. You can’t choose fantastic genetics (yet) which is the biggest advantage for healthy aging. However with effort and a little luck you can put yourself on a good path by taking care of your body, thereby preventing the downhill slide of many preventable chronic diseases.
I agree with all the comments and thank you all for sharing. As a 57 year old who started running at 50 and started my first business at 54, I feel as though I'm just beginning. But like everyone has stated, I want to be healthy not only in my body, but in my mind as well. Both parents are still relatively healthy at 87 and 83. I have 7 siblings all still alive and all pushing on 60 or older...I think I have a good chance. Thanks again for something that makes us think.
I'll start with what prompted first. There was a 15 year old at my church who had terminal cancer. I wanted to give her a gift, but what to give? It dropped in my spirit to get a pillowcase and write faith and healing scriptures on it, with the premise being that while in the hospital she would "literally be resting on God's word". After she passed, I thought I could do something with that, and Perfect Peace Products was born. I currently have four pillowcases (Faith, Healing, Children's, and Military), with other products to come. My website is www.myperfectpeace.com/shop. It's opened up a whole new world of what you can do after age 50. My husband said I should write a book entitled "Life Begins at 50"....but I think somebody already did. Thanks for asking.
Terrell, several years ago a friend recommended a book to me: “Younger Next Year” and it changed my perception of getting older and thriving into my 90’s. I am 56 but to me that is just a number and I certainly don’t act my age. this book also changed my husbands perspective as well. I recommend this book to all my friends.....There are versions for women and men or a general book written for all. The authors are funny with their delivery of information as well as insightful. I believe that you will enjoy it too.
I have mixed feelings about it all as it turns out Ezekiel Emmanuel has had. He started out saying he would stop with the routine tests and meds at age 75 and let things take their course but he has no intention of kicking the bucket early. In fact, he is full of judgment about what constitutes a meaningful life as he puts it in this brief "revisit" of his Atlantic piece https://www.advisory.com/en/daily-briefing/2019/08/26/ezekiel-emmanuel. For me, after watching my dad slide into dementia in his 90's yet remain physically healthy posed real difficulty. I don't want that for myself. He was very stubbornly saying he wanted to live on and one even when he didn't know where he was or who any of us were. In the end fate, and Covid, made the decision for him, another awful thing because we had to be apart when it happened. So my goal: a healthy life for as long as I can and a peaceful death I can control somehow. Here's hoping.
That is so thoughtful and a needed corrective, Liz -- I'm definitely going to check out the piece you shared. One thing I thought as I was reading Emanuel's original Atlantic article was, that this is a man who probably defines himself by his achievements. And when he sees ahead to a time when he can't achieve what he once did, that may be what made him write that article. But not everyone -- far from it, in fact -- defines themselves that way. Really looking forward to reading the follow-up.
My heart goes out to you. I saw many, many sad things this past year as a nurse working in a Covid unit, but nothing quite as heart wrenching as families being apart from their loved ones in the end.
Thank you, Maria, you are very kind. I can only imagine how this past year and a half was for you but I know that if not for you, many of those people would have suffered even more. Blessings. I wish you peace and a chance to heal body and soul.
Funny how life deals you different hands. My father always hoped and preyed not to lose his mind. He didn’t. His mind was intact until the day he died of ALS. His body gave out long before and he wished he could have gone earlier. My mother cared for him until he passed. She is still physically healthy as can be at 98. But she has dementia and now only sometimes really knows who her children are. She still enjoys a game of Chicken Foot (dominoes) and sometimes even wins! Thank goodness my sister lives with her and I live 20 minutes away. I’m with the majority here. I want to live as long as I’m not a burden and still can enjoy my life. Interesting topic you chose!
I have longevity in my family, a few making it into the 100s with their health, both mentally and physically. Unfortunately, I have witnessed in some of them, an anger or resentment that creeps into first small everyday things, such as "they moved my favorite bread to a different aisle in the grocery store" to "why can't I close this cereal box" to larger questions of life, like why am I still here? I wonder if it is a level of grieving, due to loss of loved ones, loss of a life you loved with them, etc. I hope to live as long as I can, and hope to not fall into too much grief later in life, but to always remember the great times.
These are really good questions that give me pause, Beth. That's the huge x-factor of getting older, the more we progress into it, the less control we have over how it goes, it seems. Really good thoughts.
In my family, the females lived long fruitful lives while the males pretty much all died in their 70's... I'm not going to say, their wives had anything to do with it, because I don't want to be banned from this site LOL... Like most have said, I want to live at least into my 90's... my Grandmother lived to 99 and my mother and mother-in-law are in her middle 90's... I however don't want to live my later years in pain or with Alzheimers... My mother and mother-in-law are both inflicted with that dreaded disease. Neither have a clue who we are much less who they are or where they are.. both are in assisted care facilities waiting to die. As long as I'm upright and can do everything I want to, I'm more than willing to strive for 100! But to suffer the way some do in their later years, I think I'd rather close my eyes, fall asleep and not wake up. This may sound a bit like a downer, but to suffer and be a burden on my kids... well, I love them too much to want that to happen.
I think the ‘waiting to die’ aspect is what I most fear. After watching my grandfather and now my dad slowly sink into the couch because their afflictions eliminated their strength and their will, I want to have a way to ‘go’ when I’m ready, rather than waiting around because society says that being a bored, frustrated vegetable is better than just saying, “I’m done. So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
My mother is in a nursing home. She is basically confined to her bed. She has Alzheimers and is now just waiting to die... she raised 10 kids and this is how her life comes to an end? It's not fair... No one can escape death but it should be more humane ...
It's not a downer at all, Steve. A writer friend of mine, who writes a wonderful newsletter called My Sweet Dumb Brain, wrote an issue a week or two ago about how we all have to deal with the fact that at some point, we're going to die. Few of us like to think about it, but it's the one thing that happens to us all, right? I hear what you're saying, loud and clear.
I'm wondering whether there are people who have lived much longer than they wished and still enjoy total health. How much does the will to live have to do with it?
I think the will to live long and healthy motivates us to make quality and life-enhancing decisions such as being active, eating healthy and maintaining a healthy outlook in life.
As I've mentioned before, I have rheumatoid arthritis. I have had it since age 3 and am now 54. I have major deformities to my fingers and toes. I have pain and swelling most times in all of my joints. I stay active and that helps but I'm thinking 70 or 75 would be a good goal to live to. My parents died at 67 and 65. My sister just celebrated her 66th birthday.
I know you've mentioned it before, but it escaped me until this reminder -- you have a courage and a fortitude I can only imagine, Nelda. This is a much-needed perspective.
Sorry I did not respond sooner.....I was out enjoying life, since according to the Oncologist at 72, I am in the end times. I did not start running until a month before my 69th birthday. My first race was a 5K in Chicago as part of the activities involved with the Chicago Marathon. Talk about a high........to see "real" runners and be there with them!!! I now enjoy a 5K most days.......10K and 15K are enjoyable when I feel the need........last October I ran my 1st half marathon as part of the virtual races replacing the Chicago Marathon..my expectations are to continue and enjoy life far past age 75.......with running adding to my quality of life. It is fun to run the small local races but definitely have set my sites on running in the Chicago Marathon in 2022. Life may not always look as we envision but to put time limits for good health and a sound body is absurd!!!! Let's all take a positive attitude and move forward..........it is not about speed, it is more about that personal satisfaction of maintaining a healthy body........I believe God will call me home at the appropriate time until then see you on the running paths and trails.........keep moving, love life and those who are enjoying it with you!!! Blessings to you all!!!!
this is so hard to answer! as long as i am able to function and know what is going on around me i'd like to live. i think 85-90 would be great! but i could start failing in my 70s or at 95...who can predict! i hope i'm still running and doing everything i love for a long time.
Given that I turn 70 later this year, aiming for just 75 doesn't work for me.. On the other hand, eeek, living longer but with a debilitating illness would really suck!! I'm just going to keep running and exercising and do what I can to stay healthy. My father, age 92 when he died, had lost most of his vision and hearing abilities so the things he enjoyed most like reading and listening to music were gone for him. He was ready to go.
I am 74 years old and still have big dreams I want to realize. The
dreams seem almost impossible but time will tell. So time to me is precious and I look upon it as my ally as I continue growing older and dreaming bigger and doing more! Never stop dreaming. It is the “keystone” that holds it all together!
I love that, Clark! I’d love to hear more about your dreams too — are you working on them now?
Yes. 1)Training for a BQ in October 2) Creating a National race series called “ The Great Human Race” with the purpose of “donating food for the long run”. All revenues go to community food banks where the races are held. I believe food insecurity in America should be unacceptable. If the gov’t can’t solve it, then perhaps runners can help. Runners need to find that sweet spot...where “me” intersects with “we”. Running with a purpose helps the runner and the community. 3) I dream of dancing at my grandchildren’s weddings. That could be at least 20 years away!
Wow, wow, wow! My prayer is that I live as long as I'm healthy and mentally cognizant. I know as I grow older that I may become physically limited, but I don't want to be so frail that I become an unnecessary burden on my children and I don't remember their faces.
Same here 🙏
I am watching my dad slowly fade away in his dementia, his eyesight failing because his brain can’t keep up with the data stream coming in, his balance off because his brain forgets to change blood flow as he rises from a chair, his memory like an LSD trip of fantasy and reality. The things he once loved to do, he can’t anymore—even if he could remember how. He is an 80-year-old toddler. His parents died younger than I am now, after living lives full of challenging health complications (polio, alcoholism, rheumatic fever, smoking...)
Meanwhile, my mom run-walked 8.0 miles to mark her 80th birthday. She still creates, still reads, still drives :O and still cares for an 80-year-old toddler. She could live to a million (her mom went at 95 and her dad in his 80s but blind, deaf, and beyond depressed).
I’d like to outlive both parents, because I think that’s how the universe should work. But I don’t need to live forever. I have no children, no spouse to insist that I stay past my expiration date. I’ve had a good and fulfilling life, good friends and great experiences. When I can no longer be me, I will be fine with going quietly into that dark night.
Steph, I am very touched by what you wrote above. You've given me so much to think about. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman, by the way!!! I feel like I hear about these situations pretty often -- the wife doing well in older age, but the husband not doing nearly as well. Lots to consider here.
She is amazing :)
really enjoyed your story/perspective!
I like the thought of an expiration date!
❤️
My grandmother would often say she was ready to check out since she was 75 but lived to 101. She was mentally sharp but her health was poor due to emphysema from prior smoking. Her sister lived to 104 in perfect physical health but poor cognition. She retained her pleasantness and sense of humor to the end, but not her memory. You can’t choose fantastic genetics (yet) which is the biggest advantage for healthy aging. However with effort and a little luck you can put yourself on a good path by taking care of your body, thereby preventing the downhill slide of many preventable chronic diseases.
101 and 104 -- wow! But, as you say, we need luck to make it to that age the way we'd like to be. Very, very true.
I agree with all the comments and thank you all for sharing. As a 57 year old who started running at 50 and started my first business at 54, I feel as though I'm just beginning. But like everyone has stated, I want to be healthy not only in my body, but in my mind as well. Both parents are still relatively healthy at 87 and 83. I have 7 siblings all still alive and all pushing on 60 or older...I think I have a good chance. Thanks again for something that makes us think.
Thank you for sharing that, Ruth! What's the business you started at 54? And what prompted you to start it?
I'll start with what prompted first. There was a 15 year old at my church who had terminal cancer. I wanted to give her a gift, but what to give? It dropped in my spirit to get a pillowcase and write faith and healing scriptures on it, with the premise being that while in the hospital she would "literally be resting on God's word". After she passed, I thought I could do something with that, and Perfect Peace Products was born. I currently have four pillowcases (Faith, Healing, Children's, and Military), with other products to come. My website is www.myperfectpeace.com/shop. It's opened up a whole new world of what you can do after age 50. My husband said I should write a book entitled "Life Begins at 50"....but I think somebody already did. Thanks for asking.
Terrell, several years ago a friend recommended a book to me: “Younger Next Year” and it changed my perception of getting older and thriving into my 90’s. I am 56 but to me that is just a number and I certainly don’t act my age. this book also changed my husbands perspective as well. I recommend this book to all my friends.....There are versions for women and men or a general book written for all. The authors are funny with their delivery of information as well as insightful. I believe that you will enjoy it too.
I will definitely check that out, Karen! I was actually already going to make a run to the bookstore later today, so I'll see if they have it 👍
I have mixed feelings about it all as it turns out Ezekiel Emmanuel has had. He started out saying he would stop with the routine tests and meds at age 75 and let things take their course but he has no intention of kicking the bucket early. In fact, he is full of judgment about what constitutes a meaningful life as he puts it in this brief "revisit" of his Atlantic piece https://www.advisory.com/en/daily-briefing/2019/08/26/ezekiel-emmanuel. For me, after watching my dad slide into dementia in his 90's yet remain physically healthy posed real difficulty. I don't want that for myself. He was very stubbornly saying he wanted to live on and one even when he didn't know where he was or who any of us were. In the end fate, and Covid, made the decision for him, another awful thing because we had to be apart when it happened. So my goal: a healthy life for as long as I can and a peaceful death I can control somehow. Here's hoping.
That is so thoughtful and a needed corrective, Liz -- I'm definitely going to check out the piece you shared. One thing I thought as I was reading Emanuel's original Atlantic article was, that this is a man who probably defines himself by his achievements. And when he sees ahead to a time when he can't achieve what he once did, that may be what made him write that article. But not everyone -- far from it, in fact -- defines themselves that way. Really looking forward to reading the follow-up.
My heart goes out to you. I saw many, many sad things this past year as a nurse working in a Covid unit, but nothing quite as heart wrenching as families being apart from their loved ones in the end.
Thank you, Maria, you are very kind. I can only imagine how this past year and a half was for you but I know that if not for you, many of those people would have suffered even more. Blessings. I wish you peace and a chance to heal body and soul.
Funny how life deals you different hands. My father always hoped and preyed not to lose his mind. He didn’t. His mind was intact until the day he died of ALS. His body gave out long before and he wished he could have gone earlier. My mother cared for him until he passed. She is still physically healthy as can be at 98. But she has dementia and now only sometimes really knows who her children are. She still enjoys a game of Chicken Foot (dominoes) and sometimes even wins! Thank goodness my sister lives with her and I live 20 minutes away. I’m with the majority here. I want to live as long as I’m not a burden and still can enjoy my life. Interesting topic you chose!
Dream as though you'll live forever, Live as though you'll die tomorrow. . .
I have longevity in my family, a few making it into the 100s with their health, both mentally and physically. Unfortunately, I have witnessed in some of them, an anger or resentment that creeps into first small everyday things, such as "they moved my favorite bread to a different aisle in the grocery store" to "why can't I close this cereal box" to larger questions of life, like why am I still here? I wonder if it is a level of grieving, due to loss of loved ones, loss of a life you loved with them, etc. I hope to live as long as I can, and hope to not fall into too much grief later in life, but to always remember the great times.
These are really good questions that give me pause, Beth. That's the huge x-factor of getting older, the more we progress into it, the less control we have over how it goes, it seems. Really good thoughts.
In my family, the females lived long fruitful lives while the males pretty much all died in their 70's... I'm not going to say, their wives had anything to do with it, because I don't want to be banned from this site LOL... Like most have said, I want to live at least into my 90's... my Grandmother lived to 99 and my mother and mother-in-law are in her middle 90's... I however don't want to live my later years in pain or with Alzheimers... My mother and mother-in-law are both inflicted with that dreaded disease. Neither have a clue who we are much less who they are or where they are.. both are in assisted care facilities waiting to die. As long as I'm upright and can do everything I want to, I'm more than willing to strive for 100! But to suffer the way some do in their later years, I think I'd rather close my eyes, fall asleep and not wake up. This may sound a bit like a downer, but to suffer and be a burden on my kids... well, I love them too much to want that to happen.
I think the ‘waiting to die’ aspect is what I most fear. After watching my grandfather and now my dad slowly sink into the couch because their afflictions eliminated their strength and their will, I want to have a way to ‘go’ when I’m ready, rather than waiting around because society says that being a bored, frustrated vegetable is better than just saying, “I’m done. So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
My mother is in a nursing home. She is basically confined to her bed. She has Alzheimers and is now just waiting to die... she raised 10 kids and this is how her life comes to an end? It's not fair... No one can escape death but it should be more humane ...
YES! This!
😢
Thanks for all the fish!!!!!! You made my day! 🐬
It's not a downer at all, Steve. A writer friend of mine, who writes a wonderful newsletter called My Sweet Dumb Brain, wrote an issue a week or two ago about how we all have to deal with the fact that at some point, we're going to die. Few of us like to think about it, but it's the one thing that happens to us all, right? I hear what you're saying, loud and clear.
I'm wondering whether there are people who have lived much longer than they wished and still enjoy total health. How much does the will to live have to do with it?
That's a great question, actually. What do you think?
I think the will to live long and healthy motivates us to make quality and life-enhancing decisions such as being active, eating healthy and maintaining a healthy outlook in life.
As I've mentioned before, I have rheumatoid arthritis. I have had it since age 3 and am now 54. I have major deformities to my fingers and toes. I have pain and swelling most times in all of my joints. I stay active and that helps but I'm thinking 70 or 75 would be a good goal to live to. My parents died at 67 and 65. My sister just celebrated her 66th birthday.
I know you've mentioned it before, but it escaped me until this reminder -- you have a courage and a fortitude I can only imagine, Nelda. This is a much-needed perspective.
Sorry I did not respond sooner.....I was out enjoying life, since according to the Oncologist at 72, I am in the end times. I did not start running until a month before my 69th birthday. My first race was a 5K in Chicago as part of the activities involved with the Chicago Marathon. Talk about a high........to see "real" runners and be there with them!!! I now enjoy a 5K most days.......10K and 15K are enjoyable when I feel the need........last October I ran my 1st half marathon as part of the virtual races replacing the Chicago Marathon..my expectations are to continue and enjoy life far past age 75.......with running adding to my quality of life. It is fun to run the small local races but definitely have set my sites on running in the Chicago Marathon in 2022. Life may not always look as we envision but to put time limits for good health and a sound body is absurd!!!! Let's all take a positive attitude and move forward..........it is not about speed, it is more about that personal satisfaction of maintaining a healthy body........I believe God will call me home at the appropriate time until then see you on the running paths and trails.........keep moving, love life and those who are enjoying it with you!!! Blessings to you all!!!!
this is so hard to answer! as long as i am able to function and know what is going on around me i'd like to live. i think 85-90 would be great! but i could start failing in my 70s or at 95...who can predict! i hope i'm still running and doing everything i love for a long time.
Given that I turn 70 later this year, aiming for just 75 doesn't work for me.. On the other hand, eeek, living longer but with a debilitating illness would really suck!! I'm just going to keep running and exercising and do what I can to stay healthy. My father, age 92 when he died, had lost most of his vision and hearing abilities so the things he enjoyed most like reading and listening to music were gone for him. He was ready to go.