Or will it harm it? Running can give you time to connect with your partner (as Oscar Wilde said, “ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation”). On the other hand, if you’re too competitive with one another, training with different goals in mind, or if one of you is “into it” and the other isn’t, it can cause friction. What do you think? — Terrell
The Mrs. and I enjoy the time spent together running. While I'm faster than her, we do run together most races. The events themselves are opportunities for us to plan for and spend time together. One particular race we did together had a time constraint for me (part of a challenge) and I did push her beyond her normal pace. We survived it though and the picture of us finishing together is something I'll always cherish.
That's awesome, Bill! Once I remember hearing someone say, "you always want to have something to look forward to in life." It sounds like you guys have found that with races -- very cool.
We used to run together years ago. Ran a few 5k's and participated in a Ragnar Relay. My husband enjoyed it, but broke his hip 7 years ago and his physical therapist won't "let" him run. However, we bike every weekend together which is great therapy for him. I've recently lost 100 lbs and am able to run so much more than I ever did. Right now, I'm training for a half. On my long run days, he drops me off at the beginning of our favorite rail trail and parks the car at the mile I'm running to. He rides his bike towards me, gives me any support (gel, electrolytes, etc), and keeps riding to the start and loops back while I continue running towards the car and meet up. Then, we get my bike out and we ride together for a bit which is great therapy for my knees. We've worked it out so we both benefit. We are talking about a triathlon relay next year so he can compete too and then we'll get my son in it for the swimming. I'm so grateful for the mere ability to run and even more for my husband's support all along the way.
My husband and I both belong to our local Fleet Feet training group, and have for the past few years. I started running 6 years ago and then my husband decided that he would start running too. In the beginning he would run with me but he is quite a bit faster than I am so I encouraged him to go run his pace. Joining the group was good for us because he can run his pace and not feel so much like he is leaving me behind. So we run together but we don't run together, lol! Running has given us another common interest and joining the group has allowed us to make friends with people we otherwise would not have met. Overall I think running has helped us strengthen our bond as a couple and it has enabled us to increase our social circle. This was something that we needed after some of our friends moved out of state.
I'm glad you shared that. My wife found a running group near us that we're thinking of joining. Your story gave the little push needed for us to go check it out next week. Thank you!
It has turned out to be a great decision for us. I signed us up as a way to get us our of our comfort zones with running but it turned into so much more. I hope that you enjoy the group.
My husband introduced me to running when we were dating. Life got in the way and I never took to it. So flash forward to four years ago, I decided the year I was turning 40 to train for a half-marathon as my birthday gift to me. I have been hooked ever since and have not stopped running. My husband hasn't been running consistently in years, but joins me occasionally. He teases me that he got me into running then stopped. When he does join me, its fabulous. We just enjoy pushing each other and I keep encouraging him to join me in a race. I have hinted he should pick a destination race for us to train together for and we make a vacation out of it. So far, he just teases me as I leave 5: 45 am to run my 5 miles four days a week.
That's awesome, Marie! Sounds like it gives you both a way to be competitive with each other (a little) and to root for each other. Really awesome. What distance race(s) would you like for you guys to run?
I would love love to run the Princess Half Marathon in Disney with him. Perfect mini-vacation. But I've suggested a few times the local Thanksgiving Day 5 miler! He said this year turning 45 is "his" year, so I'm going to suggest a 5K right near his birthday in October to start.
Running has been great for my wife and I , and our kids. I just ran the ' North Country Run' recently in Manistee, Michigan, and we planned a vacation around it. The day before my race my wife and I volunteered and helped with the Saturday races. We really enjoyed it. On Sunday she was my biggest cheerleader. She loves to run/ walk as well. It's been great for us.
My husband will run with me if there’s beer involved. 🙄 I’m currently training for my first marathon and he’s been very understanding about all my 4 am alarms. He’s always at the finish line of my longer races cheering me on and sometimes randomly shows up during my half marathons to give me support and take pics of me in all my sweaty glory! So although we don’t run together, he’s there for me in other ways. 🥰
My husband aggressively does not run! If I wanted him to run with me I would have to threaten him with a gun to do it and even then I think he would choose taking a bullet over running! He is very content to be my athletic supporter. By mile 12, start looking forward to seeing him at the finish line, which motivates me to kick it into higher gear! We wouldn't have it any other way and have been married for 31 years this October!
My husband and I like to run a few times a month together. We aren’t the same pace so I hate to slow him down. Running is something we both like but we both like our alone time sometimes too.
My hubby doesn’t run with me, but it doesn’t bother him that I do. He’d rather fish. So, it’s okay. He roots for me. He and our Shih Tzu will join me at the finish line, and brag on me. Which fills me up with too much pride, but that’s okay I guess. We each have our hobbies that we love, but love each other more.
My husband was a runner and introduced me to the sport. I was always too intimidated to try, but I really love it. He had run several half marathons and one full plus dozens of terrain races. We signed up for 10 races of different lengths over the next year (mostly 13.1), then he tore his meniscus in two places. No more running for him. We never got train together or have a single run together.
So far, I’ve run about half of those races and the rest are coming up this fall and running has become a bit of a problem.
I’ve been spoiled on destination races... our race schedule was centered on times off and travel... but it isn’t fair to him when he can’t join me and he has to busy himself while I run. I also feel guilty running for long periods of time on the weekends, so I have to try to work it in during the workday, but it’s been impossible to do. Then, there is the issue of racing itself. He wants to walk the short distances because he misses the experience and he is a competitive, so he tries to walk faster than me and he is taller so he can. When I run, he tries to catch up to me (not training and being a newbie to begin with has let me with a 14 min mile), then he hurts his knee.
It has become such an issue, I’ve considered giving it up, but I truly love running... even if I’m terrible at it. We had to compromise: I will run fewer races, at least until I get faster, but I can do cooler races, and I will try to ride a bicycle or hike on weekends for cardio instead of a long run because we can do that together. I don’t know what we will do when I reach a point where I can start improving my time and I need the long run. I may start working less just so I fit it all in.
Thanks for sharing, Rae! First of all, you and your husband seem to have a really great relationship. 😊 Is his injury something that will heal sooner or later, or is it something that's more long-lasting?
Sadly, the damage is permanent and inoperable. It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t so slow... I’m running just a little faster than he can walk. It’s too tempting for him. If I were faster, I could run while he bikes and he wouldn’t have to fill so many hours. But I can’t get faster without training for it. I’m not really sure HOW to do that so we are going to a running clinic for newbies this weekend. Fingers crossed!
unfortunately for me it's driven us apart. I have always been a runner since age 13 and he's not and I'm a daily runner so he's resentful that I make it a priority to run :(
My husband bikes with me and we even have a pet taxi for the dog when I'm on long runs and she poops out. It is so much fun to have him there and he likes the exercise...maybe this could work for you?
I'm a little late to the party but I've been a runner since my high school cross country and track days. I grew up running in groups. Then I went into the Army where it was, again, required to run in groups. That's where I met my husband. When we moved on from that, I started running on my own. My husband would go just occasionally. We tried running together and it did not work for us. We apparently appreciated the new found alone time afforded by not being forced to run in groups. Then we started doing races together. We loved that experience. We have very similar paces, he's a little faster on training runs, I'm a little faster in races. There was one half marathon we were doing when, after a few miles, he looked at his watch and said "our pace is WAY too fast right now" and I said don't look at that!! He got it in his head we needed to slow down and I told him I felt too good to slow down and we ended up both running the rest ourselves. I took first in my age group that day so since then we decide before hand if we're "racing" or "enjoying" and he's grown to not like anything over a 10k so much so, he's my cheer leader for the longer runs and we meet at the finish for all of them, whether we run them together, he cheers for me or we both finish on our own time. It's what works for us.
I have always wondered about this, as I have never had a boyfriend who runs. I generally train better alone. I guess my real question is whether training with a group can be beneficial.
Training with a group has been hugely beneficial for me in the past. I've met some of my best friends in past running groups. But, I've never run with my wife as part of a running group -- is that what you're asking, Rebecca?
Considering I met my sweet wife training for a marathon, I say it is a wonderful way to bond. We started as strangers turned into running buddies that are now soul mates.
My wife and I run together whenever possible. There is a race series in the spring here in central IL that has become our anniversary half marathon because it falls right around our anniversary every year. 2020 will actually be ON our anniversary! :)
I'm a much faster runner than my spouse. In the spring we signed up for a 5k. Normally I'd move to the front and go compete for the top spots in my age group. That day I decided to run with her. It was really nice to do that, and she was very happy to share the experience with me. I also enjoyed the togetherness. We do run together periodically now.
My husband doesn't run - calls himself the photographer for my races. Although I always run alone and enjoy that time, I would think having a running spouse would be awesome. To have someone who understands the desire for running and to have someone to share the running life would be great.
I am 65, and have been running for 52 years. We ran together some when we were dating 40 years ago. I run in the morning (while she walks 2-3 miles) , then we walk a couple miles together in the evening most days. She likes the alone time in the morning, then we can share a walk in the evening, a little bit of both. One thing I would say is never have a running "buddy" of the opposite sex. I have seen that cause trouble with couples more than once.
The Mrs. and I enjoy the time spent together running. While I'm faster than her, we do run together most races. The events themselves are opportunities for us to plan for and spend time together. One particular race we did together had a time constraint for me (part of a challenge) and I did push her beyond her normal pace. We survived it though and the picture of us finishing together is something I'll always cherish.
That's awesome, Bill! Once I remember hearing someone say, "you always want to have something to look forward to in life." It sounds like you guys have found that with races -- very cool.
We used to run together years ago. Ran a few 5k's and participated in a Ragnar Relay. My husband enjoyed it, but broke his hip 7 years ago and his physical therapist won't "let" him run. However, we bike every weekend together which is great therapy for him. I've recently lost 100 lbs and am able to run so much more than I ever did. Right now, I'm training for a half. On my long run days, he drops me off at the beginning of our favorite rail trail and parks the car at the mile I'm running to. He rides his bike towards me, gives me any support (gel, electrolytes, etc), and keeps riding to the start and loops back while I continue running towards the car and meet up. Then, we get my bike out and we ride together for a bit which is great therapy for my knees. We've worked it out so we both benefit. We are talking about a triathlon relay next year so he can compete too and then we'll get my son in it for the swimming. I'm so grateful for the mere ability to run and even more for my husband's support all along the way.
You two are rockstars!!!
my wife and I only run together on vacations, only a few miles usually. I love it, I feel closer to her during and after.
My husband and I both belong to our local Fleet Feet training group, and have for the past few years. I started running 6 years ago and then my husband decided that he would start running too. In the beginning he would run with me but he is quite a bit faster than I am so I encouraged him to go run his pace. Joining the group was good for us because he can run his pace and not feel so much like he is leaving me behind. So we run together but we don't run together, lol! Running has given us another common interest and joining the group has allowed us to make friends with people we otherwise would not have met. Overall I think running has helped us strengthen our bond as a couple and it has enabled us to increase our social circle. This was something that we needed after some of our friends moved out of state.
How cool is that?! Great that you were able each to run at the pace that was right for you, yet find a way to share that passion together.
I'm glad you shared that. My wife found a running group near us that we're thinking of joining. Your story gave the little push needed for us to go check it out next week. Thank you!
It has turned out to be a great decision for us. I signed us up as a way to get us our of our comfort zones with running but it turned into so much more. I hope that you enjoy the group.
My husband introduced me to running when we were dating. Life got in the way and I never took to it. So flash forward to four years ago, I decided the year I was turning 40 to train for a half-marathon as my birthday gift to me. I have been hooked ever since and have not stopped running. My husband hasn't been running consistently in years, but joins me occasionally. He teases me that he got me into running then stopped. When he does join me, its fabulous. We just enjoy pushing each other and I keep encouraging him to join me in a race. I have hinted he should pick a destination race for us to train together for and we make a vacation out of it. So far, he just teases me as I leave 5: 45 am to run my 5 miles four days a week.
That's awesome, Marie! Sounds like it gives you both a way to be competitive with each other (a little) and to root for each other. Really awesome. What distance race(s) would you like for you guys to run?
I would love love to run the Princess Half Marathon in Disney with him. Perfect mini-vacation. But I've suggested a few times the local Thanksgiving Day 5 miler! He said this year turning 45 is "his" year, so I'm going to suggest a 5K right near his birthday in October to start.
Running has been great for my wife and I , and our kids. I just ran the ' North Country Run' recently in Manistee, Michigan, and we planned a vacation around it. The day before my race my wife and I volunteered and helped with the Saturday races. We really enjoyed it. On Sunday she was my biggest cheerleader. She loves to run/ walk as well. It's been great for us.
Ooh! What a great idea!
My husband will run with me if there’s beer involved. 🙄 I’m currently training for my first marathon and he’s been very understanding about all my 4 am alarms. He’s always at the finish line of my longer races cheering me on and sometimes randomly shows up during my half marathons to give me support and take pics of me in all my sweaty glory! So although we don’t run together, he’s there for me in other ways. 🥰
My husband aggressively does not run! If I wanted him to run with me I would have to threaten him with a gun to do it and even then I think he would choose taking a bullet over running! He is very content to be my athletic supporter. By mile 12, start looking forward to seeing him at the finish line, which motivates me to kick it into higher gear! We wouldn't have it any other way and have been married for 31 years this October!
Beautiful and hilarious story...thanks for sharing!
LOL! That is awesome, Sandra -- there's nothing better in that last mile, right? 😊
My husband and I like to run a few times a month together. We aren’t the same pace so I hate to slow him down. Running is something we both like but we both like our alone time sometimes too.
That's a great point, Hollie -- especially if you run at different speeds/paces, it can be hard to stay together for any length of time.
My hubby doesn’t run with me, but it doesn’t bother him that I do. He’d rather fish. So, it’s okay. He roots for me. He and our Shih Tzu will join me at the finish line, and brag on me. Which fills me up with too much pride, but that’s okay I guess. We each have our hobbies that we love, but love each other more.
I love that, Juanita!
My husband was a runner and introduced me to the sport. I was always too intimidated to try, but I really love it. He had run several half marathons and one full plus dozens of terrain races. We signed up for 10 races of different lengths over the next year (mostly 13.1), then he tore his meniscus in two places. No more running for him. We never got train together or have a single run together.
So far, I’ve run about half of those races and the rest are coming up this fall and running has become a bit of a problem.
I’ve been spoiled on destination races... our race schedule was centered on times off and travel... but it isn’t fair to him when he can’t join me and he has to busy himself while I run. I also feel guilty running for long periods of time on the weekends, so I have to try to work it in during the workday, but it’s been impossible to do. Then, there is the issue of racing itself. He wants to walk the short distances because he misses the experience and he is a competitive, so he tries to walk faster than me and he is taller so he can. When I run, he tries to catch up to me (not training and being a newbie to begin with has let me with a 14 min mile), then he hurts his knee.
It has become such an issue, I’ve considered giving it up, but I truly love running... even if I’m terrible at it. We had to compromise: I will run fewer races, at least until I get faster, but I can do cooler races, and I will try to ride a bicycle or hike on weekends for cardio instead of a long run because we can do that together. I don’t know what we will do when I reach a point where I can start improving my time and I need the long run. I may start working less just so I fit it all in.
Thanks for sharing, Rae! First of all, you and your husband seem to have a really great relationship. 😊 Is his injury something that will heal sooner or later, or is it something that's more long-lasting?
Sadly, the damage is permanent and inoperable. It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t so slow... I’m running just a little faster than he can walk. It’s too tempting for him. If I were faster, I could run while he bikes and he wouldn’t have to fill so many hours. But I can’t get faster without training for it. I’m not really sure HOW to do that so we are going to a running clinic for newbies this weekend. Fingers crossed!
Good luck!
My wife and I call them race-cations. LOVE a weekend getaway to another state or country for a run.
It’s the best, isn’t it? Then the area seems filled with fellow runners. The camaraderie is fantastic
Yes and we make sure to check out all the local haunts and places of interest. Oh and of course pre-race dinners.
My wife runs, but can't go long distances. She often rides her bike accompanying me on my long training runs.
We thought about that! I’m happy to hear it works... We are going to try when I’m faster.
unfortunately for me it's driven us apart. I have always been a runner since age 13 and he's not and I'm a daily runner so he's resentful that I make it a priority to run :(
I'm so sorry to hear that, Sarah! Has he ever tried joining you?
once or twice like 17 years ago but he's just not into it.
Yes I hate to hear that, hopefully he also has something he enjoys. He could always be waiting at the finish with some flowers for ya.
He knew you were a runner when he met you and married you.
My husband bikes with me and we even have a pet taxi for the dog when I'm on long runs and she poops out. It is so much fun to have him there and he likes the exercise...maybe this could work for you?
That's great advice, John!
I'm a little late to the party but I've been a runner since my high school cross country and track days. I grew up running in groups. Then I went into the Army where it was, again, required to run in groups. That's where I met my husband. When we moved on from that, I started running on my own. My husband would go just occasionally. We tried running together and it did not work for us. We apparently appreciated the new found alone time afforded by not being forced to run in groups. Then we started doing races together. We loved that experience. We have very similar paces, he's a little faster on training runs, I'm a little faster in races. There was one half marathon we were doing when, after a few miles, he looked at his watch and said "our pace is WAY too fast right now" and I said don't look at that!! He got it in his head we needed to slow down and I told him I felt too good to slow down and we ended up both running the rest ourselves. I took first in my age group that day so since then we decide before hand if we're "racing" or "enjoying" and he's grown to not like anything over a 10k so much so, he's my cheer leader for the longer runs and we meet at the finish for all of them, whether we run them together, he cheers for me or we both finish on our own time. It's what works for us.
That's awesome on the age group win, Jennifer! And I love too that you guys found what works for you.
I have always wondered about this, as I have never had a boyfriend who runs. I generally train better alone. I guess my real question is whether training with a group can be beneficial.
Training with a group has been hugely beneficial for me in the past. I've met some of my best friends in past running groups. But, I've never run with my wife as part of a running group -- is that what you're asking, Rebecca?
Just wondering whether to get involved with a group as part of my training. Sounds like it is definitely worth it.
Considering I met my sweet wife training for a marathon, I say it is a wonderful way to bond. We started as strangers turned into running buddies that are now soul mates.
Lucky for you both!!!
Man, that's so awesome!
My wife and I run together whenever possible. There is a race series in the spring here in central IL that has become our anniversary half marathon because it falls right around our anniversary every year. 2020 will actually be ON our anniversary! :)
We take race-cations too. :)
that is awesome we are running Rocket City half this year for our wedding anniversary
I'm a much faster runner than my spouse. In the spring we signed up for a 5k. Normally I'd move to the front and go compete for the top spots in my age group. That day I decided to run with her. It was really nice to do that, and she was very happy to share the experience with me. I also enjoyed the togetherness. We do run together periodically now.
My husband doesn't run - calls himself the photographer for my races. Although I always run alone and enjoy that time, I would think having a running spouse would be awesome. To have someone who understands the desire for running and to have someone to share the running life would be great.
I am 65, and have been running for 52 years. We ran together some when we were dating 40 years ago. I run in the morning (while she walks 2-3 miles) , then we walk a couple miles together in the evening most days. She likes the alone time in the morning, then we can share a walk in the evening, a little bit of both. One thing I would say is never have a running "buddy" of the opposite sex. I have seen that cause trouble with couples more than once.