Another perfectly timed and exceptionally well-written essay..Thank you! This topic is one I ponder quite a bit. Generally speaking, I prefer civility over unnecessary conflict or confrontation, so if I can "finesse versus confront" then, that feels like a win. (Plus, it demands a level of skill.) When I get "irked", I put the Epictetus quote front and center: "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." Which is always a good prompt to reframe my thinking. I love the notion presented here of "distracted." Thanks for posting and Happy Holidays! (And I will check out her book--thank you!)
No, I haven't. But it is now going on my list! (Every year I make a goal to read the # of books represented by my age. This year, it's a big number. So there's definitely room to add! ) Happy Holidays, Terrell and thanks for your provocative essays. As a writer, I know it's not an easy thing to do--it takes time...and heart.
Love the quote from Epictetus! The book is such an interesting look at the different philosophical traditions, and she quotes from Epictetus here and there. Definitely recommend!
Lovely Terrell. Thank you for sharing such wisdom.
I have adopted an approach that has been serving my family and friends well when we find ourselves on opposite sides of way too many political debates. I simply just say, “Let’s agree to disagree” and we soon remember why we like each other despite our political differences. We make a truce not to talk politics and so far it has held for the past 4 years. Our family and friends get togethers have become quite fun once again.
Think about it. . . Have you ever gotten into it with someone who likes say, heavy metal and you are a fan of classical. . . It can get downright nasty! I leave it on the table and listen to what I like alone. . .:)
I think I've had more arguments about music than religion and politics combined. I think that is because it is a "safer" subject, but you're right. To many, music is almost a religion.
It's true. . .! Never thought about it too much until my daughter brought that home as a statement they use--of all places--at Microsoft, where she was working. :)
Merry Christmas to you and yours and a most Happy 2023!
So true. We have become a culture of "holding one accountable." (My bad.) Yet, we are called to forgive in order to foster our ongoing relationships. The last year underscored how personal opinions can divide relationships, communities and on a greater scale, our nation. I pray that 2023 will be the beginning of unity because as much as we feel the need to be right, the need for each other is even greater.
Loved this. I’ve had the book on my shelf for a couple of years and haven’t dipped in. After this wonderful post, I’ll definitely be picking it up over the Christmas break. Thanks!
Didn't realize that is how I have lived my life--sideways. Not being a confrontational sort cuz I can't remember the thread, my thinking has been normally been about the weather, nature and what is happening in the moment. Distraction is easy for me for the very reason that my memory is short. I've tried to make it longer and get into a tizzy about people and events, but I tend to forget. . . oh well!
(Distraction works really well at raising kids, one tactic you've used and probably don't even realize it is a key tool!)
One wise thing my daughter told me is never, never get into a discussion on politics, religion or music. It never ends well. . .
Must comment on the wise words from the Grandmother. She was so right. I'd never know myself if I were to see me walking down the street now!
A very meaningful article, one that opens worlds for me in that I'm all right, right now.
I rant. . . but to carry on with the weather and nature--it is, has been snowing up in the PacNW and was very cold the last few nights, only 17 degrees this morning. We get a warm-up, though, and at least 2 atmospheric rivers of rain which will prompt flooding on the rivers. Lovely start to winter!
Hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and remember to look at life joyfully1
Great post. And one day you look in the mirror and think, "I need to wear turtlenecks". In regards to confronting offenses I created a new motto I am trying on for size, "Walk past another's behavior and dance with their soul".
Distraction as a way to create space and gain clarity. I’ve never thought of it quite like this, and yet I think I unconsciously do it sometimes. Thanks for the good read!
What a lovely and meaningful post to close out the year. Thank you, Terrell!
Thank you so much, Betsy! You are so kind, my friend 🙏
I second what was said. This is timely and a gift. Happy Holidays.
Thanks, Jon!
Really nice post Terrell! Life is how we perceive it to be. Find meaning, spend time with your loved ones & enjoy the journey.
I'll not be running too much over the holiday season but Boston marathon prep starts 01.01.2023.
Thanks so much, Andrew! Really excited for your training for Boston -- how cool!
Another perfectly timed and exceptionally well-written essay..Thank you! This topic is one I ponder quite a bit. Generally speaking, I prefer civility over unnecessary conflict or confrontation, so if I can "finesse versus confront" then, that feels like a win. (Plus, it demands a level of skill.) When I get "irked", I put the Epictetus quote front and center: "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." Which is always a good prompt to reframe my thinking. I love the notion presented here of "distracted." Thanks for posting and Happy Holidays! (And I will check out her book--thank you!)
By the way, have you ever read Tom Wolfe's 'A Man in Full'? He draws on Epictetus for inspiration in a big way in that novel.
No, I haven't. But it is now going on my list! (Every year I make a goal to read the # of books represented by my age. This year, it's a big number. So there's definitely room to add! ) Happy Holidays, Terrell and thanks for your provocative essays. As a writer, I know it's not an easy thing to do--it takes time...and heart.
Love the quote from Epictetus! The book is such an interesting look at the different philosophical traditions, and she quotes from Epictetus here and there. Definitely recommend!
Lovely Terrell. Thank you for sharing such wisdom.
I have adopted an approach that has been serving my family and friends well when we find ourselves on opposite sides of way too many political debates. I simply just say, “Let’s agree to disagree” and we soon remember why we like each other despite our political differences. We make a truce not to talk politics and so far it has held for the past 4 years. Our family and friends get togethers have become quite fun once again.
Good cheer to all❗️❗️❗️
Thank you so much, Clark! Right back at you, and have a wonderful, wonderful holiday ❄️⛄️
Politics. religion and music. Better left to yourself and not talked about with others. . . :)
Best wishes for Christmas and beyond! Take care!
Think about it. . . Have you ever gotten into it with someone who likes say, heavy metal and you are a fan of classical. . . It can get downright nasty! I leave it on the table and listen to what I like alone. . .:)
Now that you mention it... yes!!! I get it now 😃
I think I've had more arguments about music than religion and politics combined. I think that is because it is a "safer" subject, but you're right. To many, music is almost a religion.
It's true. . .! Never thought about it too much until my daughter brought that home as a statement they use--of all places--at Microsoft, where she was working. :)
Merry Christmas to you and yours and a most Happy 2023!
So true. We have become a culture of "holding one accountable." (My bad.) Yet, we are called to forgive in order to foster our ongoing relationships. The last year underscored how personal opinions can divide relationships, communities and on a greater scale, our nation. I pray that 2023 will be the beginning of unity because as much as we feel the need to be right, the need for each other is even greater.
So, so well said, Linda. I couldn't agree more ❤️
Loved this. I’ve had the book on my shelf for a couple of years and haven’t dipped in. After this wonderful post, I’ll definitely be picking it up over the Christmas break. Thanks!
So glad to hear that, Luke! I can't wait to hear what you think once you've had a chance to dig in.
Very subtle but it can cause a lot of trouble. :)
Didn't realize that is how I have lived my life--sideways. Not being a confrontational sort cuz I can't remember the thread, my thinking has been normally been about the weather, nature and what is happening in the moment. Distraction is easy for me for the very reason that my memory is short. I've tried to make it longer and get into a tizzy about people and events, but I tend to forget. . . oh well!
(Distraction works really well at raising kids, one tactic you've used and probably don't even realize it is a key tool!)
One wise thing my daughter told me is never, never get into a discussion on politics, religion or music. It never ends well. . .
Must comment on the wise words from the Grandmother. She was so right. I'd never know myself if I were to see me walking down the street now!
A very meaningful article, one that opens worlds for me in that I'm all right, right now.
I rant. . . but to carry on with the weather and nature--it is, has been snowing up in the PacNW and was very cold the last few nights, only 17 degrees this morning. We get a warm-up, though, and at least 2 atmospheric rivers of rain which will prompt flooding on the rivers. Lovely start to winter!
Hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and remember to look at life joyfully1
Interesting! Why music too? (I’d definitely heard about the religion and politics part 😉) Is that because it’s so subjective?
Great post. And one day you look in the mirror and think, "I need to wear turtlenecks". In regards to confronting offenses I created a new motto I am trying on for size, "Walk past another's behavior and dance with their soul".
Tim, I love that!!! Happy holidays to you, my friend.
I grabbed this exact same book of a shelf having never heard about it before as well 💓
Isn't it the best? The way Bakewell writes, you basically can't put it down 😃
So true. Beautiful and helpful sentiment
Thanks, Melissa!
Thank you for this Terrell. I needed it. 😊
Right back at you, Corrina! 🥰
Distraction as a way to create space and gain clarity. I’ve never thought of it quite like this, and yet I think I unconsciously do it sometimes. Thanks for the good read!